): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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