Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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