i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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