He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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