so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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