Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just want to make out with him forever
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
