so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
