i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
