You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
