I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
