I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
