i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Who died my cat blue again?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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