Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
