Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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