So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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