I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
