So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
