My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
