I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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