On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize