I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
