did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
