I'm lost and stupid without you.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
