I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
