I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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