Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
