Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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