They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
