And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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