In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
