If i come over, it means nothing
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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