so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
