Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
