Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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