you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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