My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
