just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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