Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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