bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
