Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i drank out of a bidet.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Such a big mess for such a small penis
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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