you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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