she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
