you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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