Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
