have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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