I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
vagina is talking i cant
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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