you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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