I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
