Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
