SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
