I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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