Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
These tits shall not be calmed
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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