weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
