dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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