yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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