fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
