I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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