hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
