I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
