Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

you guys were way drunker than both of me

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(731): View more from Tennessee

i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work

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(919): View more from North Carolina

and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket

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(303): View more from Colorado

That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..

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(917): View more from New York City

i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON

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(416): View more from Toronto

and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk

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(802): View more from Vermont

I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom

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