I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
