well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
